Sunday, December 14, 2014

Too many negatives...

We pretty much decided we wanted to have a baby right away. So we started trying but every month I would take a pregnancy test and always got a negative. My sister Melissa already had Hailey my oldest niece, then Kimmy had Jacob, and I got negative pregnancy tests. Then Melissa had Max, then Kimmy had Adam, and I got negative pregnancy tests. I started to really get depressed and it started to really have a negative effect on on our marriage. Then Melissa got pregnant with Jack, and Kimmy got pregnant with Eli, I was happy for them, but I couldn’t shake the sadness I was feeling every time I heard the word baby. Every time I seen a baby I felt mad at God. Every time I heard of people becoming pregnant, I said to myself “blah blah blah, I’m so sick of people and freakin babies!” I didn’t take any more pregnancy tests because I was so sick of negatives. Seven years of negatives. I think I took at least 8 tests a year. That’s 56 or more negatives! I was so sad!

No comments:

Post a Comment